Lessons From My Mom

As children we see our parents as larger than life. It is interesting how our perception and views change as we grow older. As a teenager, my mother and I had our problems. Nothing I did pleased her. And yet, I kept trying to win her love. The bond she had with my sister and brother was different, a lot simpler. It may have been because I was a rebel. I questioned everything, I was an artist in a family with no artistic tendencies and I kept wanting to take the road less travelled.

Parents are supposed to love all their children equally. But what we fail to take into consideration is that parents are people as well. And sometimes the connection between a parent and one offspring is closer than the rest. It is just how relationships work. My rapport with my mother got better as we both got older. We began to enjoy each other's company. I realized that our relationship was complex because we were alike in many ways. I grew to appreciate and cherish her. She is a superb cook and home maker. She is also obsessively clean. As small children, we never had the privilege of scribbling on walls. The beds once made in the morning were not to be jumped on and messed up. The sofa cushions were supposed to be all in the right places. Our home was dusted, mopped, cleaned every single day. Of course, it helped that we had maids who did most of the work. Now that I am an adult, I find myself being obsessively clean too.

Mum had a lot of neat little tips. Here's one from her book. We lived in Malaysia, where garbage pickup was once a week. It is a tropical country, where the heat makes things smell awful very quickly. Whenever she cut up meat or fish and had remnants/parts to be thrown away, she placed them in a sealed plastic bag and put them in the freezer. She then took them out on garbage day so that they did not sit outside in the garbage can, creating unpleasant odors. I follow her tip to this day.

A photo of my Mum with her cousins on a trip to India. She is the one wearing the black sari with the red border. Aren't they wonderful in their saris? The other photo is one of my mother and I on the same trip to India.